It has come to my attention that a few readers think my posts have been overly negative and they believe that if I am having “Such a miserable time” that I should just go home.
Let me tell you something.
That isn’t going to happen.
Early on, this wasn’t the program I thought I would be having. I viewed it as sunshine and daisies, and I wasn’t able to get that. So yes, my views early on were negative, my experiences and feelings acted accordingly, as they should have, and it ended up in some pretty downer posts. Sorry. But there’s something else –
I don’t hate where I work. Do I absolutely love it? No, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have fun working. Did I have bad experiences with the coworkers the first couple weeks? Yes, but now I have found the people I like hanging around most, and I do then with them. Classes have started, and holy chessus, I love them.
I found the good.
Now,even if you find the good in situations that were originally bad, doesn’t mean that you won’t complain some days. I probably will sit here and hate my job or my location every once in a while, but that is life! That’s a part of experiencing new things!! I HATED college at the beginning! I hated the change and having to live with someone, yet, once I got accustomed, I loved it. Your body has this trial period of whatever new thing you become a part of. So it took me a month to truly get into the swing of things here, but I like it!
I am having a good time.
And contrary to what some people think, yes, I don’t recommend this program to everyone, because yes, it is hard and there is a lot of change – but no, I don’t think that this is the worst thing ever and that no one in their right mind should try to apply. It all depends on what you personally think you can handle.
Yes, I broke. Yes, I may not have had the most amazing first month, but that shit happens. The point is, we all have those moments. Contrary to what they may believe, every last one of the participants here have had this problem too. They hated it. They complained. They thought it was bad. And then they got accustomed, and life got better. Me being who I am and the struggles I have faced, it took me a little longer. I think though that it’s all completely understandable. I am always worried that I am going to do something wrong. And when someone worries that much, typically you end up doing something wrong. It happens.
True as that statement is, there also comes a point where you just have to say to yourself to Just Keep Swimming. You could look back and hold grudges over stupid and petty things, or worry about something someone said once, or, you could keep going forward and just not give a damn. Let me tell you a secret. The less you give a damn, the easier and more fun your life actually gets. I work this week two days until one in the morning. I don’t give a rat’s ass. I’m getting paid, I get to interact with people, and I am constantly busy, which makes the time go by faster.
When I was in my first year of marching band in high school, I had my woodwind instructor who would tell us to have fake hype, and it would carry over into actually getting excited for things. Oddly enough, it does actually work. Helps you get excited to face things that may end up not being the easiest to deal with; Sometimes you have rude guests. In any job, there are going to be people that are rude. In LIFE for that matter there are going to be rude people, or people who would love nothing more than to see you fail.
I’m not going anywhere.
I was accepted into this program. Twice. That means something when you think about the fact that over 10,000 students applied and they only take 3k of them. Walt had issues at first too. He complained. He almost quit, does everyone hate him now? No, he’s remembered as a freaking genius now. The point I am trying to make is that yes, I have had my negative times here, and there are most likely going to have more. But I am proud of myself and everything I am doing. I’m networking here like it’s nobody’s business!!! That just doesn’t happen for people like me!
Yes, I could have gone home. It would have been easy and I would be with Pooter, but where is that going to get me in life? Nowhere. But if I fight, and stand up for myself against the people who want me gone, it’s going to taste that much sweeter once I’m on top.
Sometimes you have to fall so you can fly.
Ain’t that the truth.
So look, if you think that I am just absolutely miserable, stop. Because I’m not. There have been bad moments, and those are easy to write about because no one shows them in the vlogs on YouTube. So here is my honesty.
It’s hard. It’s bad sometimes. You will hate it sometimes. But it is worth every minute.
I’m not going home.