I don’t have to start leaving the apartment for another thirty minutes or so, so I am going to sit here and talk to you all about dreams. When you’re here on vacation, dreams are happening all around you, and it’s something that just takes up your entire thought process. I am not saying that it changes when you come here for the college program, it just morphs into a little different of a dream.
Anyone who has known me for even the smallest bit of time knows that my dream, and has been my dream for the longest time, is to be Friends with a Disney Princess. Honestly, that is the dream that fueled my interest in this program in the first place. As you can see, I am not Friends with any of the royalty or really anyone at all. This doesn’t mean that this dream failed me, it’s just that it’s going to remain a dream for a while longer.
It wouldn’t be a dream if it didn’t require effort to be put into it. Sometimes I see these participants here that haven’t worked at all to get here, and don’t realize what it really is like to have your dream so close to you, but then be ripped away. That can be a bit of a downer to your esteem. And it’s tough to remember why you decided to keep up with dreaming.
For me, anything that I have dreamt of doing, I have had to work for. Really I have had to work for a lot of things in my life and the fact that some people just get things handed to them is absolutely just a miracle to me. Cheers to you, you must have done something right in the womb. I didn’t but I guess that is what has made me the worker that I am. I work to achieve. I work to further myself. It doesn’t always pan out the way I want but, that’s life, and I walk away knowing that I did the best that I could. And I put that dream on the shelf. It happens.
Sometimes, dreams change because you change as a person. As you grow and mature, you start seeing life in a different way than you probably have before. For me, that’s happening now. I don’t know whether it was the reality hitting me in the face these past couple weeks or just the fact that I am actually growing up, but my dream of being a Face Character, well, as important as it is to me, I know it’s not tangible for me right now. Don’t get me wrong, no matter what, I am going to do my best to try and achieve this dream, but for the first time, I’m looking beyond that.
Here in any of the apartment complexes, there is a service center. The career development part of it rests in Vista, so, extra point for Vista. I visited this the other day before I went to work, genuinely curious as to what all was there and what all they could help me with. The guy I met with was sweet and was all excited to see that I had made the effort to come to them. He gave me “homework” and that’s when my gears really started turning. See, the “homework” was to either create your dream job or find one that is already made and tell what talents you would need in order to be successful and how this role could help the team of Disney (if you haven’t guessed, Disney is very team-based).
This was meant to be about three or four sentences with bullet-points, but me being me, I took this very seriously. I sat and looked up all the possible jobs that Disney offers and where they would be located. And then sat. And thought. Hard. About something I have always seemed to forget about.
I am nearing 20 now. No longer a teenager I will soon be fully responsible for my actions, bills, income, insurance, and this program, if nothing else, has taught me that. I have become one of the biggest cheapskates that I know and I am honestly quite proud of it. Online Banking is a gift from above. I can’t remember the last thing I bought that wasn’t food, and for me, that’s impressive. Financially, I’m being hella careful, and that much I can take with me, but, this job only lasts until January. Then it’s back to having to find a job in Indy with the hours that I will have as a student. And from previous experience, it’s hard! As much as I would like to be a Face Character for the rest of my life, that homework assignment made me realize….I just can’t.
Have I thought or considered another line of work? Of course, I started Marian as a psych student and transferred over to communication. And even still I sit and stew about if I need to change again. The fact of the matter is, I love to act. I love being on stage. And that’s why I believe I have always wanted to be a Face Character. It’s the dream role! Always being the lead, always being recognized. Always feeling like you are loved and impacting someone in the best way. Who doesn’t want that? Goodness, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.
But it’s not always going to be just about me, in ten years or so, I hope to have a family, and I don’t want them to have to go without anything, I don’t want to struggle. Face Characters make about $12.50 and hour and that’s great, but then you have to take into account that they also get shit hours. That can’t cut it for a family. And to work in the parks, you have to have an open schedule. That’s something I have learned from the very beginning. And on top of it, there’s a shelf life for performers, and I have to take that into account as well. If you are insanely lucky, you can last as a performer for about ten years. Maybe. But the usual is about 2-3, and it’s on to another job for you. In 2-3 years, I will not have obtained enough money to be completely happy and on my own.
And there’s a factor of home.
This is a hard one for me that I have come to realize.
I miss home.
I miss Indiana.
The cool air
I miss it.
And there is none of that here. It’s always bustling and crowded, and hot as an oven. And the leaves never change. As much as I love Florida, I don’t know if I could be in a place with such little green for so long, and that is now a huge factor into where I take my next step.
Sometimes you have to put your dreams on hold for a while because there are bigger things to worry about than yourself, and I’ve realized that. Perhaps a character is something that is only going to be able to remain a dream. I know at least that for the rest of my time here, I will work at the World of Disney in merchandise, but I am going to be the best dang merchandiser that there ever was. Or at least I’m gonna try. I’m not retiring this dream, it’s just…..under construction and going through some minor changes so that the future will come with a little less stress than it would have.
Always remember this though.
Never give UP on your dreams. Keep them, work at them, and in the best ways, once you figure it all out, it may come true.